Entry 7: Healing In Progress

Prompt: What’s a moment in your 20s when you realized you were healing—not because everything was perfect, but because your response to imperfection changed?  Write about how that shift in mindset showed up in your thoughts, reactions, or relationships. What used to break you that now just bends you?

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Healing is, was realizing that people can’t give what they don’t have. It’s learning — yes, learning as in I’m still doing it — that maybe they gave their best. Maybe I wanted more, or expected more. Love? Attention? Understanding?

But it wasn’t in their cup to give.

Younger me didn’t understand this, really think of this, or cared honestly. Not receiving it made me angry. It made me want to cut them off. 

Growing older, I’m trying to understand. Trying to be sympathetic. Trying to realize life isn’t as black and white as I thought it was or wanted it to be.

This shift in process is helping me to navigate rather than destroy relationships I didn’t think were giving me what I wanted. At the back of my mind, I’m constantly thinking that maybe they’re doing their best. Maybe that’s all they have to give. Maybe that’s how they define love, attention, or understanding — toxic definitions aside (those definitely deserve to be cut off). 

People not being up to par, broke me. 

Realizing neither am I, softens me. 

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Note: Lessons from My 20s is A reflective series by Black Bonnet Girls. Lessons from My 20s is a journal-style series capturing the unfiltered truths, tender moments, and tiny awakenings that come with growing up and growing into yourself.  These entries are for anyone who’s ever felt stuck between who they’ve been and who they’re becoming. For the overthinkers, the late bloomers, the quiet dreamers, and the loud feelers. Through storytelling, reflection, and honesty, I hope this space becomes a soft landing—for me and for you.