Entry # 9: Success Beyond The Numbers

Prompt: "What belief did I use to hold about love, success, or self-worth that I’ve now outgrown? What moment or series of moments sparked that shift?"

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I used to believe that to be successful, you always had to be “on”. You had to be well put together in body, mind, and soul. You needed both beauty to charm people and the brain to show them there’s more than this pretty face. There was little room for mistakes, and less for vulnerability. What mattered was showing up and bringing results to the table each and every time. 

I’m learning success goes beyond the numbers — it’s a balance between mind and muscle, brain and heart, art and science. What do I mean by that? Well, constantly delivering results matters. I mean, you want the chart to show things are going, you want to make progress. But who are you bringing with you along the way — or did you lose them all as you climbed the ladder of success?

I don’t want to lose people. 

Chasing success with openness and vulnerability is more likely to keep people around for the rollercoaster ride and the winding roads rather than the stressful pursuit to achieve key metrics, or optimize numbers, or reduce margin errors. 

You can be successful without losing the soft sides of you.

I think, as a woman, it can be easy to feel like you have to shed your femininity to make an impact in the boardroom. You need a booming voice, an aura that commands attention, and you have to be the loudest one in the room. You need to be aggressive. You should never back down. Right?

Wrong.

I can chase success within the workplace with a soft, inquiring tone. I can provide flexibility when needed — it doesn’t always have to be by Monday at five. I can create spaces where ideas besides my own are welcomed and appreciated. We can inject jokes between the strategy and show care amidst the business as usual. 

It’s not just the projected numbers, but what are the positive ways I can impact people’s everyday lives? 

It’s not just about showing me the metrics, it’s showing me how you think we can collaborate to make them better. 

It’s not just another meeting, but it’s how you're coming into the room today — where’s your heart at? 

Success doesn’t have to be a frigid royal blue or a dull gray. It can be a warm amber or a pastel pink. 

Success doesn’t have to be all logic — there’s room for me to add my heart to the equation, too. 

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Note: Lessons from My 20s is A reflective series by Black Bonnet Girls. Lessons from My 20s is a journal-style series capturing the unfiltered truths, tender moments, and tiny awakenings that come with growing up and growing into yourself.  These entries are for anyone who’s ever felt stuck between who they’ve been and who they’re becoming. For the overthinkers, the late bloomers, the quiet dreamers, and the loud feelers. Through storytelling, reflection, and honesty, I hope this space becomes a soft landing—for me and for you.